In a firm, though
cautious tone, Elinor thus began:
"I should be undeserving of the confidence you have honoured me
with, if I felt no desire for its continuance, or no farther curiosity
on its subject. I will not apologise, therefore, for bringing it forward again."
"Thank you," cried Lucy, warmly, "for breaking the ice: you have
set my heart at ease by it; for I was, somehow or other, afraid I
had offended you by what I told you that Monday."
"Offended me! How could you suppose so? Believe me," and Elinor
spoke it with the truest sincerity, "nothing could be farther from
my intention than to give you such an idea. Could you have a motive
for the trust that was not honourable and flattering to me?"
"And yet, I do assure you," replied Lucy, her little sharp eyes
full of meaning, "there seemed to me to be a coldness and
displeasure in your manner that made me quite uncomfortable. I felt
sure that you was angry with me, and have been quarrelling with myself
ever since, for having took such a liberty as to trouble you with my
affairs. But I am very glad to find it was only my own fancy, and that
you really do not blame me. If you knew what a consolation it was to
me to relieve my heart speaking to you of what I am always thinking of
every moment of my life, your compassion would make you overlook
everything else, I am sure."
"Indeed, I can easily believe that it was a very great relief to
you to acknowledge your situation to me, and be assured that you shall
never have reason to repent it. Your case is a very unfortunate one;
you seem to me to be surrounded with difficulties; and you will have
need of all your mutual affection to support you under them. Mr.
Ferrars, I believe, is entirely dependent on his mother."
"He has only two thousand pounds of his own; it would be madness
to marry upon that; though, for my own part, I could give up every
prospect of more without a sigh. I have been always used to a very
small income, and could struggle with any poverty for him; but I
love him too well to be the selfish means of robbing him, perhaps,
of all that his mother might give him, if he married to please her. We
must wait; it may be for many years. With almost every other man in
the world, it would be an alarming prospect; but Edward's affection
and constancy nothing can deprive me of, I know."
"That conviction must be everything to you; and he is,
undoubtedly, supported by the same trust in yours. If the strength
of your reciprocal attachment had failed, as between many people, and,
under many circumstances, it naturally would, during a four years'
engagement, your situation would have been pitiable, indeed."
Lucy here looked up; but Elinor was careful in guarding her
countenance from every expression that could give her words a
suspicious tendency.
"Edward's love for me," said Lucy, "has been pretty well put to
the test, by our long, very long absence, since we were first engaged,
and it has stood the trial so well, that I should be unpardonable to
doubt it now. I can safely say that he has never given me one moment's
alarm on that account from the first."
Elinor hardly knew whether to smile or sigh at this assertion.
Lucy went on. "I am rather of a jealous temper, too, by nature;
and from our different situations in life, from his being so much more
in the world than me, and our continual separation, I was enough
inclined for suspicion, to have found out the truth in an instant,
if there had been the slightest alteration in his behaviour to me when
we met, or any lowness of spirits that I could not account for, or
if he had talked more of one lady than another, or seemed in any
respect less happy at Longstaple than he used to be. I do not mean
to say that I am particularly observant or quick-sighted in general,
but in such a case I am sure I could not be deceived."
"All this," thought Elinor, "is very pretty; but it can impose
upon neither of us."
"But what," said she, after a short silence, "are your views? or
have you none but that of waiting for Mrs. Ferrars's death, which is a
melancholy and shocking extremity? Is her son determined to submit
to this, and to all the tediousness of the many years of suspense in
which it may involve you, rather than run the risk of her
displeasure for a while by owning the truth?"
"If we could be certain that it would be only for a while! But
Mrs. Ferrars is a very headstrong, proud woman, and in her first fit
of anger upon hearing it would very likely secure every thing to
Robert; and the idea of that, for Edward's sake, frightens away all my
inclination for hasty measures."
"And for your own sake too, or you are carrying your
disinterestedness beyond reason."
Lucy looked at Elinor again, and was silent.
"Do you know Mr. Robert Ferrars?" asked Elinor.
"Not at all- I never saw him; but I fancy he is very unlike his
brother- silly, and a great coxcomb."
"A great coxcomb?" repeated Miss Steele, whose ear had caught
those words by a sudden pause in Marianne's music.
"Oh, they are talking of their favorite beaux, I dare say."
"No sister," cried Lucy, "you are mistaken there- our favorite
beaux are not great coxcombs."
"I can answer for it that Miss Dashwood's is not," said Mrs.
Jennings, laughing heartily; "for he is one of the modest, prettiest
behaved young men I ever saw; but as for Lucy, she is such a sly
little creature, there is no finding out who she likes."
"Oh," cried Miss Steele, looking significantly round at them, "I
dare say Lucy's beau is quite as modest and pretty behaved as Miss Dashwood's."
Elinor blushed in spite of herself. Lucy bit her lip, and looked
angrily at her sister. A mutual silence took place for some time. Lucy
first put an end to it by saying, in a lower tone, though Marianne was
then giving them the powerful protection of a very magnificent concerto.
"I will honestly tell you of one scheme which has lately come into
my head for bringing matters to bear; indeed I am bound to let you
into the secret, for you are a party concerned. I dare say you have
seen enough of Edward to know that he would prefer the church to every
other profession; now my plan is, that he should take orders as soon
as he can; and then, through your interest, which I am sure you
would be kind enough to use out of friendship for him, and I hope
out of some regard to me, your brother might be persuaded to give
him Norland living, which I understand is a very good one, and the
present incumbent not likely to live a great while. That would be
enough for us to marry upon, and we might trust to time and chance for the rest."
"I should always be happy," replied Elinor, "to show any mark of
my esteem and friendship for Mr. Ferrars; but do you not perceive that
my interest on such an occasion would be perfectly unnecessary? He
is brother to Mrs. John Dashwood- that must be recommendation enough
to her husband."
"But Mrs. John Dashwood would not much approve of Edward's going
into orders."
"Then I rather suspect that my interest would do very little."
They were again silent for many minutes. At length Lucy
exclaimed with a deep sigh,
"I believe it would be the wisest way to put an end to the
business at once by dissolving the engagement. We seem so beset with
difficulties on every side, that though it would make us miserable for
a time, we should be happier perhaps in the end. But you will not give
me your advice, Miss Dashwood?"
"No," answered Elinor, with a smile, which concealed very agitated
feelings; "on such a subject I certainly will not. You know very
well that my opinion would have no weight with you, unless it were
on the side of your wishes."
"Indeed you wrong me," replied Lucy, with great solemnity; "I know
nobody of whose judgment I think so highly as I do of yours; and I
do really believe, that if you was to say to me, 'I advise you by
all means to put an end to your engagement with Edward Ferrars, it
will be more for the happiness of both of you,' I should resolve
upon doing it immediately."
Elinor blushed for the insincerity of Edward's future wife, and
replied, "This compliment would effectually frighten me from giving
any opinion on the subject, had I formed one. It raises my influence
much too high: the power of dividing two people so tenderly attached
is too much for an indifferent person."
"'Tis because you are an indifferent person," said Lucy, with some
pique, and laying a particular stress on those words, "that your
judgment might justly have such weight with me. If you could be
supposed to be biased in any respect by your own feelings, your
opinion would not be worth having."
Elinor thought it wisest to make no answer to this, lest they
might provoke each other to an unsuitable increase of ease and
unreserve; and was even partly determined never to mention the subject
again. Another pause, therefore, of many minutes' duration,
succeeded this speech, and Lucy was still the first to end it.
"Shall you be in town this winter, Miss Dashwood?" said she,
with all her accustomary complacency.
"Certainly not."
"I am sorry for that," returned the other, while her eyes
brightened at the information; "it would have gave me such pleasure to
meet you there! But I dare say you will go for all that. To be sure,
your brother and sister will ask you to come to them."
"It will not be in my power to accept their invitation if they do."
"How unlucky that is! I had quite depended upon meeting you there.
Ann and me are to go the latter end of January to some relations who
have been wanting us to visit them these several years. But I only
go for the sake of seeing Edward. He will be there in February,
otherwise London would have no charms for me; I have not spirits for it."
Elinor was soon called to the card-table by the conclusion of
the first rubber, and the confidential discourse of the two ladies was
therefore at an end; to which both of them submitted without any
reluctance, for nothing had been said on either side to make them
dislike each other less than they had done before; and Elinor sat down
to the card-table with the melancholy persuasion that Edward was not
only without affection for the person who was to be his wife, but that
he had not even the chance of being tolerably happy in marriage, which
sincere affection on her side would have given: for self-interest
alone could induce a woman to keep a man to an engagement, of which
she seemed so thoroughly aware that he was weary.
From this time the subject was never revived by Elinor; and when
entered on by Lucy, who seldom missed an opportunity of introducing
it, and was particularly careful to inform her confidant of her
happiness whenever she received a letter from Edward, it was treated
by the former with calmness and caution, and dismissed as soon as
civility would allow; for she felt such conversations to be an
indulgence which Lucy did not deserve, and which were dangerous toherself.
The visit of the Misses Steele at Barton Park was lengthened far
beyond what the first invitation implied. Their favour increased; they
could not be spared; Sir John would not hear of their going; and, in
spite of their numerous and long-arranged engagements in Exeter, in
spite of the absolute necessity of returning to fulfill them
immediately, which was in full force at the end of every week, they
were prevailed on to stay nearly two months at the Park, and to assist
in the due celebration of that festival which requires a more than
ordinary share of private balls and large dinners to proclaim its importance.
Sense and Sensibility - Chapter 23 Sense and Sensibility Sense and Sensibility - Chapter 25