Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Everything
2
stalker in training
(
idea
)
by
arona44
Wed Jan 23 2002 at 22:29:22
How to Become a
Stalker
(in
10 easy steps
):
Choose your subject
Ok..This is the hard part. Your subject must be someone that is perferably
soft-spoken
, non-violent,
utterly beautiful
, and totally and completely
out of your league
. You must have some type of informal and frequent contact with the person, say at
school
, at a job, at
church
, or at a club.
Fall
madly in love
with this person.
Forever
.
Obtain every piece of information you can about this person.
Find out their
phone number
, address, birthday,
religious affiliation
, hobbies,
nervous tics
,
shoe size
, wrist circumference,
social security number
, etc.
Call them.
Remember, this person loves you and wants to talk to you at all hours. If you don't call, they may forget that they
love
you. So call. Every hour.
Visit them often
How can little stalkers be produced if you are never around. Go. Now. You may
get laid
. If you don't know where your love is, find him/her.
Always remember: They love you, they just don't know it.
Continually remind yourself and your
victim
of this fact.
Remember
: You will do
anything
to get your love...
...including, but not limited to,
stealing
,
embarassing yourself
,
cry
ing like a
monkey
,
violence
,
kidnap
ping, moving, and a host of other
erratic behavior
s.
Make
friend
s with all his or her buddies.
Employ
them in your
plot
.
Do not let the
law
stop love.
Or your parents, his/her parents, a
restraining order
, big men
threatening you
, friends, or
death
(yes you can stalk
from the grave
!).
Never, ever
give up
.
Stalkers suck
stalker
Kristin Kreuk
creepy
I once had a cavity
restraining order
self-immolation
She is afraid of not being shy
staring
There can be only one
tragedy is beautiful
wannabe
Myspace Girl
How to lose weight
How Prom nearly killed me
stalk script
H.P. Lovecraft
Four American letters
iPod
the only person in the room
finger stalk
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